Olive Branch, part 2: A Ray Of Hope

Self torment, the price for your lie

This is horrible, I've made things worse. I wanted so badly to find some small piece of redemption, no matter how fragile; I wanted to chance it all on a ray of hope, and I should have known better.

I started this blog.....and then began to dig a bit deeper.



Truth spilling out

I replied to that message. I found the imagery of an olive branch to powerful to ignore. I thought about the symbolism, my mind taking me back to my childhood, listening to the story of Noah's ark. I couldn't help but feel for the first time that the tale related to me somehow now, more than before. My life like a boat, cast on the water with no land in sight; till the dove returns with an olive branch. A ray of hope, a sign that the waters have began to recede. But as my hopes began to rise a little reality would soon catch up with me. I had searched for a generic picture of a dove with an olive branch (through google it's not too hard to find) and stumbled across a slightly different image. It depicted a dove, just as it is about to land on a branch, and although one side was indeed an olive branch the other half was barbwire. I was intrigued as I saw in my mind the symbols fall into place. The barbwire a symbol of the friendship I ruined, the olive branch likened to the direct reference of the message Clint sent me on Dec. 9(2010) and the dove in the center symbolizing the hope, that maybe one day our friendship may be repaired. I sent him this image on Dec. 25(2010) he replied that it was a great Christmas present, though I couldn't help but wonder if he saw in it what I did. So against my better judgement I to then made a reply (this time not with a picture). I told him that I found it highly symbolic and therefore very fitting and that I was glad he enjoyed the picture. Part of me wanted desperately for this to start a bit of a discussion thus ending the long silence between us. I checked my Nexopia at least once a day thereafter to see what he would say........no response came (reality strikes again). At first I was so mad at myself for being so delusional as to think that that would be all it would take to begin the healing process. I counted myself as a fool. But the image of the dove stayed in my memory. Somehow I have to believe that the future hold a restoration, just..........not yet.